MANY PNG parents I know wish for their children to be married … properly – whether they are married in church, or a ceremony is held in the traditional way to formalize the arrangement.
Photo: The sister Hane and spouse Jacob cutting their wedding cake.
I was happy that my step-sister is now formally married. Hane and her boyfriend, Jacob, tied the knot in a ceremony staged in Port Moresby on Saturday.
The traditional exchange of gifts in fact started about a year ago when Jacob’s people brought pigs and food to the house.
The decision was hard for the mother, who was not prepared to give Hane over to Jacob.
But with time, the determination by the two young people gradually bent their relatives’ notions to their wills.
A relative on our side said that Jacob would benefit from the grooming in Hane’s life by her mother – which for us in the house meant making tea, cooking all sorts of dishes, welcoming visitors, cleaning the house and washing clothes, on top of her paid job.
The planning for the wedding on our side took a year too. It was quite an experience, seeing relatives meeting on weekends or week days and checking on food items to be cooked, clothes/colours to wear, sorting our transport arrangements and many other things, including the amount of money that was needed.
I am happy to say, despite the small hiccups and last minute changes, everything worked out fine.
(A lot of prayers were said and His grace enabled the smooth flow of things.)
Some months back there was talk about another relative’s decision to take his relationship to another level.
Some of us are still waiting to help him do it … properly. Will he do it properly? He has to make the call.
The mother has taught us that for you to take your relationship to another level, you must first save your finances and resources. When you think you are ready, then approach the relatives and say: “This is what I’ve got. How can you all help me take my relationship to the next level?”
The mother is wise. She is teaching people to be responsible. I hope all you single, young people learn and so when the time is right, you will do it … properly.